Dr. Elijah C. Nealy

Elijah C. Nealy, BA, MDiv, LCSW, PhD, died peacefully at his home in West Hartford, Connecticut after a difficult 18-month journey with cancer. In the loving company of his family, he took his last breath on Thursday, September 23, 2021.
1958 – 2021
Based on his experiences as a therapist and former deputy executive director of New York City’s LGBT Community Center, and himself a trans man, Reverend Dr. Nealy authored the highly acclaimed, first-ever comprehensive guide to understanding, supporting, and welcoming trans kids: Transgender Children and Youth – Cultivating Pride and Joy with Families in Transition (2017).

According to the International Journal of Transgenderism, in writing his book, Reverend Dr. Nealy accomplished a huge and valuable feat that will foster the healthy development of transgender and gender non-conforming youth, the acceptance and well-being of families, and the ability of therapists to improve their skills with youth and families. The book was the culmination of his life’s work, and the social contribution will live on.

For 30 years, Reverend Dr. Nealy worked extensively with LGBTQ adolescents and adults in both pastoral and social service capacities. A long-time New York City resident, Reverend Dr. Nealy received his doctorate from the Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter College and his Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary. He was a full-time lecturer at Columbia School of Social Work and ended his career as a tenured associate professor in the Department of Social Work and Equitable Community Practice at the University of Saint Joseph, West Hartford, CT.

Widely regarded as a dynamic speaker, Reverend Dr. Nealy was a familiar presence in health and mental healthcare settings and clinical consultation around work with transgender and gender diverse children, youth, and adults. Ordained with the Metropolitan Community Church, he also preached and provided workshops for faith communities and other organizations.

Elijah married the love of his life, Alexandra Soiseth, in May 2011 and adopted their daughter, Kaj, early in 2021. A few weeks later, Elijah himself was legally adopted by his mother, Nancy Lila Radclyffe, and adopted in spirit by her wife Janet Hardy — making formal the family that had long been held together by loving relationships. The family, all together, during the last few days of Elijah’s life brought that strange and beautiful mix of sorrow and sweetness that so often marks such experiences.

Elijah was held closely by a wide circle of friends, who also grieve this untimely loss. Gratitude abounds, as this community has been a source of great support and kindness to Elijah, Alexandra and Kaj.

A Celebration of Life will be held at 1:00pm on Saturday, October 2, 2021 at the Immanuel Congregational Church, 10 Woodland Street, Hartford, CT, 06105.